Snirf the Drunkard

heh. _{Sometimes I like to run after the bus to make it stop and when it does I run up to the door and tell the driver an important piece of information, such as "The elastic is stretched a little on these socks and I don't like it" and then I usually stand and wait for him to close the door but I stick my foot back in to stop him from doing it and I scream until he radios for police and then I run away. One time I was discomforting a local bus driver when an old woman asked me what I was screaming about. Sometimes I act a bit hastily, without thinking, and this must have been one of those times because I punched her REALLY HARD in the mouth. Then I realized what I had done and the bus driver was pulling the little handle trying to break my leg or something and everyone on the bus was yelling at me because I don't think they appreciated my actions. One man stood up from his seat and ran at me. He tried to shove me out of the door but I grabbed his hoodie and pulled him out with me onto the pavement and yelled at the bus driver "GO! GO! GO!" and he closed the door and took off and the hoodie guy started punching me so I elbowed his face really hard and he started bleeding and I was a lot bigger than him so I kind of carried / dragged him to this building nearby and put him inside there and I tied his ankles with the cable that was there because I couldn't hold his arms down but he relented after I hit him with a chair a few times and I tied his hands too. So I was waiting for there to not be any cops outside and I decided to teach this guy a little game I like to play. I snort with each nostril in turn and make songs that way. sometimes I lose the beat or get mixed up in my nostril rotation and I call that a "banana note" for some reason (I forgot why!) so I was snorting and I hit a banana note in the middle of Don't Stop Believin' and I was SUPER pissed off about it. I decided to fix it so I snorted extra hard with the other nostril but it didn't really feel right still so I kept trying over and over to snort harder and harder with each nostril and I was jumping up and down and I must have looked really angry because the hoodie guy was crying pretty freely, like so much that I could see tear drops soaked into his mouth gag rinsing the blood away. Anyway I lost track of time because of that banana note and I realized that the cops had been gone for hours! The hoodie guy was laying back against the wall and his cratch was TOTALLY open so I was like "Ooooh man" and I got out one of my strings of firecrackers and lit it and threw it at his crotch and he started flopping all around while the exploded! Hahaha! They didn't stay there though because he was flopping. I took the chance to leave without him noticing much. I went to Wawa and bought a disgusting blue soda and after I tasted it I just threw it away, because seriously, screw that blue soda.

Support your local bus drivers.}

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